Popped eyeballs anyone?

Self-defense classes are awesome and a little weird, even more so when they are done by your church group, FHE. Let me start this off correctly, and by covering my bases, by saying the teachers were great. In case anything in here ever makes its way back to them I don't want to get something broke or pulled out of me.

The class was more oriented towards women; most self-defense classes seem to be this way. As you can imagine talking about being raped at a church outing doesn’t happen very often; it was a little bit awkward. What made it more awkward was the teachers demonstrated the rape position. Both of the teachers were guys. Sorry, no pictures.

Something fascinating, how much emphasis was placed on popping someone’s eyeball out of its socket, or just plain exploding it. I am 100% sure this move would be effective. If someone removed my eyeball, I’d be down for the count. The instructors said if you could actually get the eyeball to explode, well even better. Plus, I imagine, the ocular fluid from an exploded eyeball might give a person powers. I’m reminded of how Native Americans sometimes ate hearts to gain courage. Eyeball fluid should do something; perhaps, jumping higher.

Remember, after an eyeball is popped there will be vomiting; either by the popped or the poppee; be prepared. The added vomit will definitely be an added bonus and a more interesting story once the police arrive. “Officer, I didn’t mean to spew. I just didn’t know removing an eyeball would be so gross.”

The other part I found rather jocular was the demonstration on what to do if you were “on bottom”, or you being raped. One guy straddling another one if front of a room of people is a shock. It’s even more of a shock when the guy on bottom is being strangled by the guy on top. All the while trying to explain to everyone you need to punch this person in the throat or wail away on his junk, and of course, if you get the chance, go for the eyes!